i woke up with a dire need to blog. 2.21am..not the ideal time to be typing away at my comp, but still i know this is something i have to talk about.

a few months ago i went to this particular service at brighton..
the message is still clear in my mind- till today.. i can remember it was during mid july (if i'm not wrong), it is the only message- so far- that i felt that it was the most important in my life.

it wasn't about salvation. nor was it about the truths of life.

it was about masks.

this is not something opera singers don on every performance.
it is also not jim carrey as the mask.

this is the invisible mask that each and every one of us have.
the mask you wear to school - to gain attention/ to be invisible
the mask you wear to work - to act as a professional
the mask you wear in front of your crush
the mask you wear when despite being torn apart by harsh words, you shrug them all off.

this is what keeps us alive in this dog-eat-dog world.at the same time, this is also what destroys us.

i must admit. i have on different masks all the time. when i pretend to be the outgoing one, loud and cheerful when at times i really needed a break from the world.
when i pretend to be undeterred by passing remarks that may have torn my heart into pieces.
even when i cannot bring myself to tell some of the people i detest to get out of my life.
this makes me a liar, backstabber, bitch..
everything everybody claimed to hate.

i have on this mask ALL THE TIME.

but then again, nobody's perfect.
this is the mask everybody has on.
during that particular saturday, the message hit a nerve in everybody in the room.
it was the most sensitive, close to the heart issue i have ever came across.
when asked "are you going to surrender you mask at the altar?", it took almost 15 minutes before the single hand was raised.
that guy was the only one who dared to. because nobody else wanted to admit that they have this mask on. even in church. i admire him for his courage.

the mask[s] has become a part of us. something which we can never ever bring ourselves to confess of its presence.
there is only one person i know of, my entire life, who hides behind so many facades.. so many.
that i do not know who she really is.
whenever we show a sign of weakness, it is when the mask is slipping away.
the fragile mind of the human being is indeed, hard to decipher.
but this girl. she had on so many masks. that i had to ask myself, "do i really know her?"
frankly speaking, she could be any stranger i meet on the streets. i know nothing about her. absolutely nothing.

we humans do not like to be seen as weak, helpless and stripped of all hope.
we prefer to be known as strong, courageous and full of hope. these 3 words fuel our ego.
nobody wants to be unknown.
everyone wants to make an impact to the world.
perhaps the only key to this door which leads to ultimate success is the curtain we hide behind. the curtain of many shades, colours, materials.
the curtain which shows what we want others to see.

when i come across friendster profiles, i see many proclaiming their hate for liars and backstabbers.
bull.
everybody lie.
everybody backstab.
some people even attempted murder with physical and emotional warfare.
owners of these profiles. does that mean you love no one in the world, including yourself?

the mask is the weapon of mass destruction.
it hides greed, lust,hate and undesirable thoughts that any man can ever conceive.
it protects your ego and the weaker part of yourself.
it crushes the life out of the entire human race.
all these done out of selfishness.

it seems that nobody is innocent anymore.
the mask. until now i haven't figured out what exactly was i hitting at.

i just had to blog about this.
somebody, enlighten me.