its 1:48am. i'm awake and staring at this bright screen in my dark room. oh gosh.. guess what i have been doing for the entire day? rotting of course. didnt pick up any books today.. feeling as guilty as ever.. man.. i've had this feeling since sec 3. i have no idea why i loathe studying. is it because of my class? nah. they're nice.. workaholics, but nice.. i realised this stinking attitude of mine towards books jumped into my life over a year ago. Why did i choose to let it take over my life? over the months i've been telling myself from this day forth i will study like i never did..and over and over again i find myself back into square one.
my english is getting from bad to worse.. i'm incapable of forming comprehensible sentences. my vocab is totally trash. and i still can't tell the difference between adjectives and verbs. wow. ok.. enough about english. lit.. ok.. when was the last time i read i'm the king of the castle? last year. my shakespeare is crap. art,thou,thee,thy.. wadever. they make no sense to me. my e maths is fab. i love e maths. looking forward to improvements.. yada yada.. a maths, still caught in that never ending traffic jam.. first it was differentiation. now? integration and what- kinematics. goodness.. the last time a gave a real thought about physics was when mr sreeni threw my workbook out of the class.. THAT long ago. ok.. mental note: revise MORE physics. chem; hopeless. i cannot even balance the equations. chinese.. at least i secured a b3..i'm still at venice for social studies.. geog.. wa lao.. first in class to last in class.. achievement in a lifetime.
talk about hopeless..
everyday i see myself resorting to totally crap computer games that will never help me get a bloody cert..ok.. maybe after this i will delete the games and put "STUDY" as my computer wallpaper.yeah.. it sounds helpful.
ok.. enough about the 'i'm-so-useless' rants. going for chem in what? 7 and a half hours from now? not prepared in anyway.. going to study with shortie.. oh.. i'm telling u.. my english is a total disaster. even my chinese inclined mates speak bombastically- much to my distaste. maybe i'll take up hokkien or something.. i'll never forget what miss cheong wrote in my paper. 'i'm sure you'll never make it past prelims or o levels'. sad sia.
note to self:
-do away with that stinking attitude
-delete games
-study more
-feel my work with 'effort's to the brim
-tolerate. smile at teachers (eww. must work on that)
-study more.
-stop going to the library everyday. ( ps. i read at least 1 storybook a day. no wonder my dad didn't want me to go)
-turn on the computer only when i blog.
-study more.

gah.. so much for trying to make my student life a better one..